Today's Bride

Mother-Of Responsibilities

Now that your little boy or girl is getting married, you may think that they don’t need you anymore. That’s not true! Mother-Ofs have wedding duties, too! Whether your child is the bride or the groom, find out what’s on your to-do list.

Mother-Of | Klodt Photography | As seen on TodaysBride.com

Klodt Photography

Mother-of-the-bride

First of all, congratulations! Your little girl is getting married! Like many moms in your position, the first thing you might be thinking is “What can I do to help?” So we’ve decided to put together this quick overview of your responsibilities during this exciting time!

Here are your responsibilities:

  • First and foremost, be a warm listener, chief cheerleader, and a source of support for your daughter. You will be there to help the bride make decisions every step of the way. Keep in mind that your option counts, but your daughter and her groom have the final say.
  • Help the bride find the wedding dress of her dreams, as well as other wedding attire & accessories.
  • Assist in selecting the ceremony and reception locations, particularly if the wedding is taking place in your hometown and not theirs.
  • If you haven’t already met, contact the groom’s parents and arrange to meet.
  • Discuss the wedding budget with your daughter and her fiancé, including what you are willing to pay for, and the ideal total number of guests.
  • Quickly draw up the guest list for your side of the family. About 3-4 weeks before the wedding, call any of your guests who have not responded.
  • Reserve blocks of hotel rooms for your out-of-town guests and possibly other guests as well.
  • Help spread the word about where the couple registered.
  • Choose your mother-of-the-bride dress as soon as possible, then let the groom’s mother know what you have picked. If possible, send her a swatch of the fabric and/or pictures so that she can look for a gown that will compliment yours.
  • Attend the wedding shower and rehearsal dinner.
  • Possibly escort the bride down the aisle and participate in other parts of the ceremony, such as unity ceremonies, when needed.
  • Act as hostess at the wedding and reception, making sure guests are comfortable. This also includes standing in the receiving line (if applicable), sitting at the parents’ table, and making sure the bride has greeted all her guests.
  • Help your daughter with any other details as they arise.
Mother-Of | BCR Studios by Brad | As seen on TodaysBride.com

BCR Studios by Brad

mother-of-the-groom

Your little boy is all grown up and is getting married. Now you’re not just mom – you’re the Mother-of-the-groom! Here’s a guide to the duties that come along with the mother-of-the-groom title, as well as a few ideas on what to wear.

Here are your responsibilities:

  • Plan, host, and pay for the rehearsal dinner.
  • Draw up the guest list for the groom’s side, after finding out how many guests you are allowed to invite.
  • About 3-4 weeks before the wedding, call any of your guests who haven’t yet responded.
  • Attend the bridal shower and bring a gift.
  • Choosing the perfect mother-of-the-groom gown
  • For the father-of-the-groom: Make a toast at the rehearsal dinner
  • If there’s a mother/son dance, help choose a song for it and dance with your son at the wedding
Mother-Of | OH! Snap Photography | As seen on TodaysBride.com

OH! Snap Photography

Finding a Mother-of Dress

Typically, the mother of the bride picks out her dress first, setting the tone for what the mother of the groom will wear. You and your future-in-law don’t have to match, but you should make sure your looks don’t clash, either. Be sure to discuss sleeve and hem lengths, necklines, colors, and styles with each other before shopping.

When looking for a dress for the wedding, you’ll want to choose a color that is similar to the wedding party but doesn’t match exactly. You should also keep in mind the location, time of day, and formality of the wedding itself. For formal, elegant celebrations, you should avoid colors like ivory, champagne, black, or red and wear a long gown. For a more casual, outdoor get-together, bright colors and fun prints on a tea or knee-length dress are perfectly acceptable!

Plan to visit local department stores and bridal shops. If a bridal shop doesn’t sell mother-of gowns, look at the bridesmaid dresses they carry! Often times, these double perfectly as a mother-of gown without forcing you to look or feel matronly.


A mother’s love is unconditional, and your child will never stop needing you. Helping out with wedding duties can be touchy as you don’t want to overstep your bounds. The most important task you have is to offer your help, support, and most importantly, your love.

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