Today's Bride

Real Bride Denise: The Art of Compromise

When you think weddings, you might be thinking of an endless sea of Pinterest inspiration (better known as Pinspiration!), gorgeous gowns & the dreamiest of color palettes. And while all that & more comes included, there’s probably another key element you’re not considering: compromise.

You’re not planning your wedding inside of a vacuum. People are still going to have opinions about the decisions you’re making. I’ve been pretty fortunate that our family & friends trust me to pull off one amazing event. As a whole, they have only interjected on planning pieces that affect them. Our parents & wedding party have been very gracious and helpful. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t had to field my own share of unwelcome commentary.

Here are some of my go-to steps in such a situation:

Be sensitive.

Art of Compromise | As seen on TodaysBride.com

Admittedly, this is one that may be easier said than done. In my most bridezilla of moments, I called out a relative (guest, not wedding party) who was griping about one of my bridesmaid dress selections. “Good thing you’re not wearing it,” I retorted. Ouch.

While the sentiment was true – this was not the relative’s decision to weigh in on – my delivery certainly could have been more tactful.

Remember that those comments you’re fielding are typically coming from a good place. Your family loves you and knows that you deserve a beautiful event. Sometimes those comments may even be coming from a place of pain – a mother who is sad and feeling a little helpless as she sees her little one all grown up. Take time to understand the why behind the actions before you react.


Check out this blog for more tips on how to handle opinionated family/wedding party members!


Know when to step back.

Wedding planning comes with a seemingly endless amount of decisions. Not every one of them has to be yours. In fact, the further I get, the more I welcome getting to take a break from the action. One such area in our planning? Men’s wear

My fiancé knows how I feel about a few things when it comes to the men’s attire, but ultimately, it’s his decision. I created an inspiration board with a variety of looks and then removed myself from the equation.

Don’t let your voice get drowned out.

Art of Compromise | As seen on TodaysBride.com

With so many opinions flying around, it can sometimes be difficult to get a word in. When that happens, hopefully you have a crew or an advocate in your corner who will help you efficiently communicate.

One of my biggest advocates was a bridal shop Consultant. My party and I had very different ideas of what my wedding style should be. She could see my frustration during an appointment that was quickly going south. She pulled me aside and asked a couple of questions about what I liked. Finally, she brought a serious contender of a dress – one that my party certainly wasn’t elated by, but one that reflected me.

So, yes, be sensitive. But also vocalize your needs. Additionally, choose a stellar wedding party, find the best vendors, and surround yourself with those who will be ready to defend your vision when you just need a break.


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Be willing to reevaluate your vision.

This is something I keep coming back to and has even become a trend in my planning. Give yourself some room to tweak the even the best laid plans.

Take, for example, my color palette. One of my favorite colors is mint, so I instantly felt compelled to include it. As I scoured the Internet for inspiration, I started to question that decision. Instead, I gravitated toward a romantically moody color palette of blushes, neutrals, mixed metals, & greenery.

I further affirmed this switch when talking to my florist, and selecting dresses for the wedding party. I was originally going to have all of the girls in blush, but one of my maids tried on a dress that was taupe pink, and she looked amazing in it. This. Was. Her. Dress. Suddenly, we were working with our consultant to do a mix-and-match spread of blush, gold, & taupe – and I ended up absolutely loving it! The lesson? Embrace changes in your plan!


Art of Compromise | As seen on TodaysBride.com

Those are just a few of my tips to help you keep your cool during those rough patches. You’ve so got this!

‘Til next time,

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