Different Types of Bridesmaids
While we are in no way trying to deter you from having bridesmaids, there are certain situations to prepare for. Weddings bring out the best in people, but they can also bring out the worst. You’ll probably experience both among your bridesmaids. Here’s a list of personalities you should be prepared to meet.
The one who thinks this is her wedding
Cinzia Bruschini Photography
Planning a wedding is exciting! It’s a day most little girls dream of for years. While it may not be her wedding day, it’s hard not to get swept up in the anticipation for some girls. If you have any friends who have not yet been married or if they had a wedding a long time ago, they may try to live vicariously through you. If they try to force their opinions on you or make decisions for you, kindly remind them that this is your day, and you have a specific vision.
The one who just got married
Like the one who thinks this is her wedding, this bridesmaid will have a lot of opinions. Because she just went through what you’re going through, she’ll have advice and regrets from her own wedding that she’ll want to share. This can be super helpful, so try not to get annoyed or offended. For instance, if they say they wish they hired a wedding planner or videographer, ask them to explain why. However, if they tell you that flower crowns are “so last year,” take it with a grain of salt. Know that they mean well, and they just want the best for you.
Here are some tips on how to deal with opinionated friends.
The one who thinks she’s The “best” friend
Dakai Photography
All of these girls (and boys!) are your best friends. But there will always be one girl who thinks she’s closer to you than the rest are. She’ll constantly bring up inside jokes and memories that the other girls weren’t part of. She may bring up facts about you – like your shoe size or your mom’s first name- in order to seem like she knows you best. Regardless of whether she’s your maid-of-honor, she’ll take over planning your bridal shower and bachelorette party. To combat this, assign specific tasks to each member of your party so they all feel important and spend quality time with each one so they feel appreciated.
The one who’s “broke” and “busy”
These could be two different girls, or one and the same. When asked to bring a dish to the bridal shower, donate to the group gift, or attend an out-of-state bachelorette party, she’ll assure you that she wishes she could, but really can’t afford to right now. She may not be able to make the dress shopping trip or girl’s bonding sleepover because she’s just too busy. Both of these excuses can be legitimate and should be respected. Don’t force someone to pay for something if they‘re struggling financially. Likewise, if someone just started a new job or has a strict boss, they may not make it in time to your Friday evening rehearsal dinner. As one of her best friends, you know her best and should know her situation. But if it gets out of hand, you may want to ask her if it’d be easier on her to just attend the wedding rather than be a bridesmaid.
The one who is just here to party
Sarah Rolling Photography
This girl is known as a partier and will probably give the bride a garter flask as a gift. She’ll insist on having a bridal shower signature drink, and will bring champagne to help find the wedding dress. For the bachelorette party, she’ll suggest starting the night with a wine tasting or mixology class before bar hopping. She’ll have a drink in hand as she enters the reception. As her friend, you have an idea of whether she has a drinking problem or not. Hopefully she knows her limits and will abstain from getting too drunk at your pre-ceremony parties. Getting too drunk around your friends and family is not only embarrassing for her, but for you, as well. Set restrictions, like abstaining from drinking before the toasts, or limit your bar to just beer and wine.
the one who likes to gossip
This bridesmaid may be the worst, because she thrives on the drama she causes. She’ll wait until you leave the room before gossiping about the fight you had with your fiancé the other day. You’ll know who she is because she’ll probably call or text you after each event to “recap.” By recap, we mean judge everyone’s outfits, behaviors, and suggestions. While you should always be able to trust your best friends, try to avoid confiding in her. Any secrets, thoughts, or opinions you share are free game for her to share with others. Unfortunately, this habit is probably so ingrained into her personality that there’s not much you can do other than point out how hurtful and degrading it is.
the one who is The problem solver
Stories by Samantha
Not all your bridesmaids will have negative personality traits. They are here to support you, after all! At least one of your bridesmaids will do what they can to make your life easier. One way to do that is by solving problems. With so many girls, there’s bound to be some conflict. This bridesmaid will help the girls solve their conflict and make up before the bride has to find out. On your wedding day, if the DJ is late or there’s one less table in the reception, she’ll handle it (if you don’t have a wedding planner) so you don’t have to. She knows that this is your day and will ensure that everything possible is done to make it your dream come true.
the one with The shoulder to lean on
During your planning process, you may get cold feet. You may have fights with your fiancé or parents over budget or guest lists. Odds are, you’ll cry a few times. One of your friends will become your stable shoulder to lean on. They’ll offer a listening ear no matter the hour and a helping hand whenever they can. They’ll offer up advice, sympathy, support, perspective to help renew your excitement. When you get stressed or overwhelmed, they’ll be there to help lessen the load. Make sure you tell this bridesmaid how much you appreciate her friendship and support.
the one who’s supportive
Sarah Rolling Photography
Like the last two, this bridesmaid knows that this is the day you’ve been dreaming about. And again, they will do whatever they can to make it perfect. Whether they agree with your decisions on attire, décor, venue, and flowers or they don’t, they’ll keep that opinion to themselves. They will support your decisions and your vision and will help defend them to others. When the gossip questions why you invited your ex-boyfriend or went with the purple ombre cake, the supportive one will respond on your behalf. When all your bridesmaids love the dress that is $2,000 over budget, she’ll be the voice of reason supporting your hesitancy. And when it’s her turn to tie the knot, she’ll expect you to do the same.
We hope this list doesn’t discourage you from asking your friends to be your bridesmaids. They’re your best friends for a reason, and you love them, flaws and all! Just be prepared for some of the drama, obstacles, and lots and lots of laughter and memories along the way.
