A Bridesmaid’s Guide: DOs and DON’Ts
Did you immediately start jumping around your apartment screeching before creating a Wedding Board when your best friend told you she was engaged? As a bridesmaid, it’s your job to keep that excitement level consistent, – not bring everyone’s enthusiasm down by being a “negative nelly”. Here’s our list of Dos and Don’ts for every bridesmaid!
DON’T act as if you’re doing the bride a favor.
Being asked to stand beside a bride on the biggest day of her life is a huge honor and privilege! Treat it as such. By asking you to be a bridesmaid, the bride is virtually saying that you are one of her dearest friends, and she can’t imagine doing something as big as tying the knot without you there. Don’t downplay that by controlling any aspect of her wedding planning, demanding things go a certain way, or making her life difficult. While you can absolutely offer your opinions, do it in a way that acknowledges that you support her decision, either way.
Artistic Photography by Glenda
DO realize that accepting means taking on a lot of responsibilities.
Though being asked to be a bridesmaid is an honor, it can be a lot of work! Be prepared to spend a lot of time, energy, and money in the upcoming months. Besides buying your dress, you will also be expected to chip in for the bridal shower, bachelorette party, and any accommodations you’ll need. You may not have much of a social life, as you’ll help run errands, meet with wedding vendors, go to fittings, and attend pre-ceremony parties.
DON’T be afraid to offer your opinion or mention your budget.
This topic can get very touchy, and you definitely want to keep the bride in mind! Remember, this is her day, and by agreeing to be a bridesmaid, you are accepting the fact that all final decisions will be made by her. That being said, don’t be afraid to speak up if you really hate the way a certain dress fits or looks. If things are getting a little pricey, mention in a polite, friendly, non-confrontational way that you’d like to stick to a budget. NEVER confront the bride in an aggressive manner or use a disgruntled tone. Always make sure to pull the bride aside and talk to her in a calm and supportive tone when approaching these topics.
DO plan an awesome bridal shower and bachelorette party.
One of the most fun parts of being invited to be a bridesmaid is organizing the parties. Generally, the Mother-Of plans the bridal shower while the Maid-of-Honor plans the bachelorette party, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get involved! Check out our Pinterest and blog for bridal shower games, favors, and decoration ideas as well as alternative options to the typical bar crawl bachelorette party.
DON’T fight or argue with the other bridesmaids.
When the estrogen flows, so does the drama, and it can be extremely challenging to get along with a group of girls, but you are all the brides’ very best friends, and she wants to see you get along. Even if you don’t get along with every bridesmaid, do your best to put on a friendly face when you’re around the bride – otherwise the tension and drama between the bridesmaids will be the center of attention on the wedding day instead of the bride and groom. No one wants that, so try bonding with the other girls. If your best friend loves them, odds are that you’ll find a quality that you relate to, too!
BCR Studios by Brad
DO put the bride’s needs before yours.
This time can be hard for a bridesmaid because it will seem as if the world literally revolves around the bride. You will be expected to drop everything if a crisis arises that she needs you to handle for her; you will be shelling out some major bucks; and your patience will be put to the test. Whatever hardships you go through during this time, remember, IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU! This day is all about the bride, and if your wedding hasn’t happened already, you’ll know that one day she’ll be by your side doing the exact same thing for you. When things get hard and you feel like ripping her head off, take a breath, channel your inner zen, and be ready with the phrase, “Of course! Whatever you want.”
DON’T arrive late or leave early.
The bride has a lot on her plate when it comes to planning a wedding, and organizing a day and time when all of her girls can meet up is difficult! Show her the respect she deserves by showing up on time, being present and active, and staying until the end. You might have a lot going on and are really busy, but when it comes to bride time, put everything else aside to be as supportive and helpful as you can.
DO have fun!
This is an exciting time for both the bride and bridesmaids! Make sure to enjoy all of the wedding activities and parties, and try not to take anything too seriously. While the bride wants her wedding to be perfect, it’s your job to make sure she has fun rather than stressing out. If you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed or impatient, make it a priority to do something fun – whether it’s getting all the girls together for happy hour, or going to the spa.
Artistic Photography by Glenda
