Planning Advice for a Same-Sex Wedding
Same-sex marriages have been legal in the United States since 2015. But it can still seem like new territory when planning an LGBTQ+ wedding. From who proposes to changing your name, and showers to walking down the aisle, we have answers and advice for planning your same-sex wedding.
How to Find judgement-free vendors
Choose wedding vendors who you feel comfortable talking to. You want to hire someone who you can share your ideas and vision without feeling judged. For a same-sex couple, it can be a challenge finding vendors who will work a same-sex wedding. There are a few ways to spot vendors who are open to same-sex wedding before even contacting them.
One investment that will be worth it is hiring a wedding consultant. He or she has worked with hundreds of vendors before that (s)he can refer. This a great way to know which vendors are open to an LGBTQ+ wedding. It also means (s)he can most likely get you some discounts! Check out these other benefits to hiring a wedding planner!
Before scheduling a meeting with a potential vendor, check out their reviews. You may find an experience from another same-sex couple. Their review can let you know how the initial meeting went, whether they ended up booking them, and whether or not the vendor is same-sex-inclusive. You can also look at their previous work to see if they showcase any same-sex weddings on their portfolio or website.
Finally, read their website and marketing literature. Do they use phrases like “Love is Love” and “engaged couple,” or do they enforce gender roles like “bride and groom” or “husband and wife”? These phrases can guide you toward a vendor who will make your wedding more enjoyable for you.
Genevieve Nisly Photography
Break tradition
There’s nothing wrong with getting down on one knee, wearing a white wedding dress, or waiting to see each other until the ceremony. After all, they’re traditions for a reason! But if you want a wedding that is 100% original and authentic to you, make your own traditions, instead! There are no right or wrong answers to questions like “Who’s last name should we take?” or “Should we have a bridal shower even though we’re both grooms?” Make up your own answers! Hyphenate both of your last names, or merge them together to make a completely unique new name! Walk down the aisle arm in arm or start on opposite sides of the ceremony space and meet in the middle. Throw a shower where you both attend or have separate parties. The rules are up to you to create.
attire
Keep in mind that you’ll be wearing your wedding outfit for 8-10 hours. Above all else, you want to be comfortable! Don’t feel like you have to subscribe to the traditional wedding dress or suit/tuxedo if that’s not you! If you want to wear a jumpsuit or pant suit as a bride, check out these alternatives to the traditional wedding dress. As a groom, you can wear khakis and a t-shirt or dress shorts with suspenders if that’s more reflective of your style. This is your wedding day, and should be exactly as you want it to be.
As a same-sex couple, your attire may be very similar to each other’s. Your looks should reflect your style, but shouldn’t clash with each other. For instance, if one groom wears a tan suit, a formal black tuxedo may look a little silly on the other groom. Choose colors within the same family that complement each other. To switch things up, you can choose your own pocket squares, ties, and shoes. Check out this blog for other tips on how to complement – and not clash with – each other.
If you want to shop together to ensure that your looks are complementary – or even because you trust their opinions – you shouldn’t feel obligated to adhere to superstition. Review this blog of the pros and cons of seeing your fiance before the ceremony before making your decision, though.
Erica Camille Photography
You do you
The only rule when it comes to planning your big day is this: you do you. Don’t try to please anyone else. If there is someone who you don’t want to attend your wedding or you think will bring negative vibes, don’t invite them. If you want to forgo a wedding party so you don’t offend any of your friends, then don’t feel obligated to ask them! If you want to arrive to your ceremony on a white horse or have your dog be your ring bearer, then don’t let anyone convince you otherwise! Wear what you want, hire who you want, and do as you want. This is your day.
